Why I Decided To Go On a "Crazy-Moon"
Womxn in Student Affairs
February 9, 2016
This weekend I’m going on a ‘crazy-moon’, and I couldn’t be more in need of it. I’m taking it as my last moments of calm before I jump headfirst into what I’ve affectionately named my ‘big life event’ tsunami.
Similar to how expecting couples take a ‘baby-moon’ vacation to relax before the wonderful yet radical life change called parenthood, I’m looking forward to a few days of rejuvenation before what is quickly shaping up to be one of craziest seasons of my life.
Let me be clear – by calling this season of life ‘crazy’, I’m certainly not calling it bad or terrible or something I’m not looking forward to. The life events coming my way over the next six months are wonderful and radical. However, what is beginning to plant a seed of anxiety in my heart is how all of these wonderful and radical things are linking up and happening in rapid succession.
Spring semester in the life of a college administrator is always a busy time (and as I type this, it feels like the understatement of the year!). I feel very fortunate to have amazing opportunities on my plate this semester. In addition to tending to tasks which go along with the typical rhythm of academic advising over the course of the semester, I’ll be recruiting and training over 100 student leaders as they prepare to provide peer mentorship to my university’s first year experience program in the fall. Within those peer leaders, I’m hoping to make my idea of a student executive board come to fruition. I’ll also be assisting my supervisor in putting the concluding touches a campus wide assessment of our first year experience program which we’ve been working on since the fall. So much of what is happening this spring are the ‘action’ phases of ideas I cultivated for several months, so I’m excited to see them all come to life.
Finally seeing my planning come alive is what makes my next ‘big life event’ a little bittersweet – I’ll be leaving my current institution in May and jumping into the student affairs job search market. Now that I’ve got the ball rolling on many of these projects, I’ll spend time creating scaffolding so that my predecessor can continue and improve them.
Even with one professional job search under my belt, the thought of going through the entire process again is daunting. The late nights spent perfecting every application and researching institutions, squeezing in phone interviews and (fingers crossed!) campus visits into a busy semester, making decisions which will impact my career for year to come … my eyes widen as I remember every ounce of effort my last search took.
One of those life decisions I’ve already made is the geographic area I’m searching in (so at least one thing is checked off my ‘to-do’ list!). After being away for three years, I’m hoping this search allows me to return to my home state of Michigan. For those of you keeping track at home, this is ‘big life event’ number 3 – moving.
Another radical life change I’m preparing for is this little thing called marriage. Yes, among all these other moving parts in my life, I’m planning the events of a important day where I commit myself to another person for all eternity. While parts of the wedding process have been a headache, I find a great sense of comfort in this portion of my impending ‘big life change’ tsunami. Being married and spending the rest of my life with a wonderful person is something that is concrete, in a time when many other things in my life are in shades of grey. For the other changes I’m navigating, I have no idea when or how they will shake out. I definitely know my wedding is a thing that will happen, and will be lovely.
So to recap, here are the things I have to look forward to in the next six months: putting big plans into motion at work, finding a new job, moving to wherever that new job takes me, and getting married.
I’ll be honest – if I think about all of this too hard, I get overwhelmed. Staring down a tidal wave of big changes is not an easy thing to do, even if they are changes for the better.
Right when I think my ‘big life event’ tsunami will overtake me, a quote from a 2013 'Humans of New York' blog post helps me remember what to do to survive:
“There’s three things you can do when life sends a wave at you. You can run from it, but then it’s going to catch up and knock you down. You can also fall back on your ego and try to stand your ground, but then it’s still going to clobber you. Or you can use it as an opportunity to go deep, and transform yourself to match the circumstances. And that’s how you get through the wave.”
And so, this weekend during my ‘crazy-moon’, I’ll relax and take the deep breaths I’ll need to come back on Monday and dive deep into all that’s ahead for me. I know I won’t be the same person or professional when I come up for air on the other side of my tidal wave, but I’m beginning to realize that’s ok.
Have you ever faced down a similar wave in life?
What helped you ‘go deep’ and make it through to the other side?
Audra Pretty is the Academic Advising Fellow at Elon University. Her interests in higher education include academic advising, first year experience programs, and sexual assault prevention. Connect with her on LinkedIn or twitter [@aprettay].