She Looks Like You

When this picture was taken, I was 38 weeks pregnant. Two weeks later, my baby girl was born and my life has changed for the better. From my previous MRKC spotlights, you might remember that I am transracially adopted into a white family. Even though I looked different than my family, my parents always made sure I did not feel alone by getting me the tan Barbie, the tan doll, and even incorporating my skin color into songs. My dad changed lyrics from “Jesus loves the little children, all the children of the world, black and yellow, red and white” to “all the children of the world, red, yellow, brown, black and white,” and he would always smile at me knowingly when he said the word “brown.”

Being adopted can create wounds that might never heal, and being adopted might become more evident at different times throughout your life. It was prevalent growing up when I would have to explain why I looked different than my siblings, it was an important part of my college years as I began to search for my birth family, and it is the reason why hearing those four special words means so much: “She looks like you.”

Growing up, I had friends that looked just like their families. Daughters that looked just like their moms; sons that looked just like their dads. And I was always envious of that. I could never tell anyone where my nose came from, or what my heritage was, or even what my birth story was. I am thankful because I am able to answer those questions for my daughter. She has her father’s ears and his dimples, she’s got my eyes and my nose, and I am excited to one day share her birth story with her. While the gift of life truly is a miracle, it also makes me realize that adoption can be just as miraculous. Adoptive parents give the gift of life to a child that may not be biologically related, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t equally as loved. Love comes in all shapes, sizes, and family makeups.

If you are attending the NASPA Conference in San Antonio, Texas this year, you can see and hear stories just like these at the "Pop Up Museum," which will be visible throughout the conference in the main lobby. It will be a visual expression of the multiraciality and transracial adoptee experience crowdsourced by members of our own NASPA Community! If you are not attending, we are thinking of documenting these stories into a future iBook so be on the lookout for this eye-opening read soon!

In celebration of Loving v. Virginia's 50th anniversary, we are hosting a special education session with Ken Tanabe, the founder of the national Loving Day celebration. Additionally, we will be screening the HBO Documentary: The Loving Story, which tells the story of Mildred and Richard Loving.

Here is a link to all Multiracial Knowledge Community activities: https://www.naspa.org/constituent-groups/posts/multiracial-knowledge-communitys-guide-to-the-2017-naspa-annual-conference

Amy Sellers is the Region IV-West Knowledge Community Representative for the Multiracial Knowledge Community (MRKC). She works in Student Services at Kansas State University and is writing her dissertation for her PhD in Student Affairs in Higher Education on adoptive development theory within the higher education setting.

For more information about this KC, please visit https://www.naspa.org/constituent-groups/kcs/multiracial or contact Amy at [email protected].